"Laziness- The only disease in the world without a medicine."

Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car. Aussie: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.'

Operator: 'What is your location sir?' Aussie: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street.' Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'

Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute. Operator: 'Are you there sir?' More heavy breathing and another minute later. Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?

This goes on for another few minutes until.... Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'

Aussie: 'Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to number 3 Oak Street.

"Abnormal is so common, it's practically normal."

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The National Anthem."

“People don’t like to live happily hence they elect government to achieve it easily.”

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"Nothing can stop you when you are determined to perform."

The Real Rambo Granny of Melbourne, Australia

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down... And shot off their testicles.

"The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way," said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as she could be:

"Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God!"

Rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny.. "What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old Woman in prison," Det. Delp said, "especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor."

"People with least chances teach us the Biggest lessons of Life."

“A Real Life Hero, You made us truly proud Sir.”

Your achievement will inspire a lot to excel and build the chain.

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