“Pessimism- Evil states strike much faster than the good ones.”- Joke

A skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question.

If our chute doesn't open and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?

The jump instructor answered, The rest of your life.

“Knowing enemies is more important than your friends.”

On vacation, a little boy asked his mother: "Can I go swimming in the sea?"

No darling, you can't," she replied. "The sea's way too rough, there's a dangerous offshore current, and this stretch of coastline is supposed to be plagued with jellyfish and sharks."

"But Daddy's gone swimming in the sea," protested the boy.

"I know," said the mother "But Daddy has excellent life insurance."

“Luck is a mere nuisance unless you have the ability to apply it.”

I was shopping with my wife at a local supermarket and suddenly couldn't find her.

"I've lost my wife!" I muttered slightly louder than was necessary.

Then I heard a strange man's voice from the next aisle: "Some people have all the luck."

“With all the years of struggle we are creating a unknown wonderful hell around us.”

"Confidence on success of your struggle is the most crucial attitude."

A kindergarten teacher was walking around the classroom observing the students while they were drawing.  Stopping at the desk of one little girl was working hard on her drawing; the teacher asked what she was drawing. 

The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

The girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

"There is no higher virtue than forgiveness"

A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. "Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"